Not enough hours

Because this ostrich requires an inordinate amount of sleep, I never seem to have the time to do all of the things my day requires. For instance, today, when I get off of work, I want to go to the grocery, take a nice long, brisk walk and then watch the Chelsea / Liverpool Champions League semi-final. But do you know what? I probably will not have enough time. This is due to a variety of problems.

Problem 1: My grocery store (Rouse's, a huge improvement over the old Sav A Center) never seems to stock the right kind of toilet paper. I'm a big fan of Kleenex Cottonelle, but somehow, they're always out. So I'll spend a good ten minutes having a conversation with my derriere in the toilet paper aisle deciding what to do. Ultimately, I will settle for something rough and scratchy, the kind of TP one usually finds in a truck stop.

Problem 2: It's becoming summer. This has me truly at wit's end. This bird doesn't particularly like the heat and humidity, which means this bird will ultimately find himself exercising at some gym of some kind. This will take more precious minutes away.

Problem 3: My maid has been gone since August of 2005 and since then, my house has become a landfill. There aren't enough hours in a month to deal with this problem. Yet, there it is (my house), festering around me.

Problem 4: My pussy needs to be shaved. (it is becoming summer, after all)

Problem 5: Does anybody ever find that one night, they might feel like cooking a chicken breast, but everybody knows that chicken can kind of suck if it's not marinated over night, and then, the next day, you're not so much in the mood for chicken? (frog legs, perhaps, or an olive salad?)

Problem 6: Blogging. It's an addiction and a curse.