Thursday, July 03, 2008

Seniorita Caroline and Aunt Liz, the Drunk Nanny

Seniorita Caroline (through a translator): This is a picture of what my nanny, Aunt Liz, looks like when we go to the Happy Note. Her arms get very short and she leans a lot to the right.

Aunt Liz (slurring): That's not what I look like. I drew that picture. It's a picture of a tornado, upside down. Would somebody get me a mojito?

Seniorita Caroline: Sometimes, when we're at the bar, Aunt Liz takes off her shirt and has the bartender pour salt on her boobies and then licks it off while he drinks tequila.

Aunt Liz: You lying little shit. We were in church. I was getting baptized.

Seniorita Caroline: And sometimes, when mommy and daddy go out and leave me with a babysitter, sometimes, when they come back, they smell like Aunt Liz.

Aunt Liz: That's the sweet smell of success, honey. Learn it. Live it.

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