Lemons, and, what I think about modern oak trees

Lemons. You see them everywhere, from the glass of water at your local sushi bar to the glass of water at your local Piccadilly Cafeteria. Lemons. They're bitter, yes, but a yummy kind of bitter. Better than bitter, but not better than butter. Which leads me to my first question: Is there anything better than butter? I would argue that bacon grease is probably better than butter, but just nominally so, although I cannot imagine a better fried egg than one produced in a skillet just after the bacon has come off.

Now, let's discuss the methodone clinic. No, let's not.

Surely there must be something we can talk about other than the fact that Tulane will be bombed on Monday because Salman Rushdie is speaking there (7 p.m. at Dixon Hall, radiation suits optional).

Now there's the matter of modern oak trees. Yes, they're pretty and old and all that, but there's the matter of the fact that we're about to enter caterpillar season, and there's no happier a place for a stinging caterpillar than an old oak tree. If you're walking down St. Charles Avenue anytime in the next month or so, I'd recommend bringing an umbrella, whether it's pouring down rain or sunny as hell. Unless you like the stinging welp of a caterpillar bite.

Natalie Depp, show your tits!!!