Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Too Many Mimosas!!!

Heidi Melia is a hooker. She charges 75 cents for a blow job. For an extra dollar, she'll let you probe her anus with an unsharpened pencil.

Therein lies the problem. First, it's an established fact that Heidi doesn't suck cock. Second, (although for just a dollar, it's worth the money) who in their right mind would want to probe her anus with an unsharpened pencil?

Luckily, I have a really powerful computer on loan from NASA. I entered the above information into my new computer and after stuttering for a while and spewing smoke, it came up with this answer (and I quote):

"Lips bring pleasant folks the anus of infinity."

Followed by:

"Fuck while you can; the flacid, they die."

So there's that, for what it's worth.


savory simon said...

Real great post. I don't think I would be overly excited about it if I were her..............

Anonymous said...

How about Wren and I just kick you in the nutsak so that nobody will ever suck your mangy ass cock again?

I think that would be great and to sweeten the pot, I will do it for 50 cents and then stick a pencil (unsharpened) in your uretha.

Archibald said...

That sounds quite painful. I didn't know, however, that Wren kicks people in the nuts. I thought he only punched. Has he added Karate or some kind of other martial art to his nut wrecking repertoire?

By the way, I was just kidding when I posted that. We all know you only enjoy magic markers up your bootie.

mrbeer said...

Um, your established fact is wrong

Archibald said...

Does that mean I'm wrong about the Magic Markers too?

mrbeer said...

no no. that is still the same.